How different countries and political systems deal with someone having 2 cows…

TWO COWS

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
Continue reading

An Open Letter to EA on Titanfall

Dear Electronic Arts,

I’m going to keep this as short and as simple as possible. You have some damn good games in your collection, but when I say games, I think what I really mean is “game ideas.” You lack the ability to take an amazing idea, like Battlefield 4 and Dungeon Keeper,and transform them into the game that everybody is playing, and I’m scared you’re going to do the same with Titanfall.

Titanfall is a great idea that has caught the attention of every single gamer I know. We played the beta/demo and we loved it! Check out my beta review here if you’re curious where I’d make changes, but other than what is said there, it’s a damn good game and could very well be the next Call of Duty – and by that I mean, the game everyone is playing, recording, streaming etc.

Here’s what we think you might do, that you really, really, really, shouldn’t do:

Day One DLC

Actually, day one DLC is completely fine…so long as I don’t have to pay for it!

If your developers have finished the game development and started shipping it and then want to start working on more content which is ready before the release date – AWESOME! But I will not be paying for it!

Micro transactions

I know you think this is the next big thing in gaming, for every game to let you get a little boost by chipping into your wallet, let me give you some inside information…IT REALLY, REALLY ISN’T!!!

People hate micro transactions like the plague and your game will NOT succeed if you include these, they ruin gameplay and people stop playing because they’re fed up of not getting anywhere because of people who spend money on the game.

Don’t try to pull that whole, “Oh, but you don’t have to put money into the game” because you know exactly what I mean!

Paying for content already “on the disk”

If I buy the disk for this game (or get the digital download) for say $50, I want to access EVERYTHING on that disk, because that is what I have paid for. People have looked at the source code and have found evidence of at least 14 different maps…do NOT screw us over again!

Releasing an incomplete game

We know you have the date set for March 11th and you have already whetted our appetites, but if the game is not ready then it is not ready. I would rather wait another month or 2 and get to play a properly polished game.

Sure people will be annoyed at a delay, but they will be more annoyed at an incomplete game. Learn from BF4!

These are just a few of the things you need to be aware of.

Good luck with Titanfall! You’ve p*ssed everyone off, but you can win them back with this!
Jake

Review: Titanfall Beta

As I said in part one, this game is very aesthetically pleasing; the graphics are truly beautiful, not Crysis beautiful, but still up there. The game flows very well and the mechanics feel generally smooth. I don’t want to talk too much about the positives because with all the hype this has received it’s obvious where the good things are, but here’s a short list with some of the main pros of the game:

  • Good sized maps – perfect for pilot or Titan
  • The IDEA of the AI is really cool, but I’ll touch on that later
  • Burn cards are a cool addition – pretty much perks you can use mid game for one life
  • Parkour is awesome and flows well

As I said, the good things about this game you can find just be watching a game play video, what I want to discuss is the problems with the game.

Continue reading

What is Titanfall & What is in the Beta (Demo)

Well guys, I got on the Titanfall beta and I have to say, I was impressed! This really does feel like ‘next-gen’ gaming, it’s certainly a graphical step-up from the previous generation. Don’t forget, if you registered before Saturday 15th February 16:00 PST, your copy of the Titanfall beta will be in your Origin account (somewhere near the bottom apparently). Though this is being called a beta I think calling it a minimal demo would be more accurate, with less than a month till the release data I cannot see many changes being made the final version, especially the removal/modification of minions which is something everyone wants, but I’ll get to that in my next post.

titanfallwallpaper

If you don’t know what the game is about, I suggest you check out some game play videos, but here’s a quick breakdown of what it is before I get into my comments on the improvements that need to be made which is what I mainly want to talk about. (I’ll link the “review” when it’s posted. EDIT: Here’s the link to the review.)

You start of as a pilot in a battlefield where you must use your skills in stealth, parkour or pure assault to get kills. When you spawn, there is a count down timer in the bottom right corner starting at 4 mins, for each kill you get, this will reduce the timer (along with it reducing by the second). Once the timer reaches 0 your Titan is ready to fall. At this point you can call in your Titan which can be set to guard a specific area, follow you around, or you can get in and pilot it yourself.

There are 3 game modes in the Beta: Attrition, Hardpoint and Last Titan Standing. In respective order, these basically translate to the COD terms: team deathmatch, domination and search and destroy (in Titans) – CTF and another TDM are rumored to be in the final release. Each game mode is 6 vs 6 but there are also AI controlled “minions”.

There are 2 maps available in the beta

Continue reading

Swiss Air Force is “closed on evenings and weekends”…no I’m not joking

In case you missed what happened yesterday at Geneva airport

Early on Monday morning, an Ethiopian Airlines co-pilot told ground control he had hijacked flight ET-702 from Addis Ababa to Rome and was going to land in Geneva.

ethiopiahijack

However, it was vigilant Italian and French fighter pilots who escorted the hijacked plane to Geneva and do you know why the Swiss Air Force didn’t respond?

“Switzerland cannot intervene because its airbases are closed at night and on the weekend,” – Swiss Air Force spokesman, Laurent Savary

Orders came from NATO where two Italian pilots responded followed shortly after by several French pilots.

When the plane landed in Geneva at 6am, the Swiss Air Force hadn’t even warmed the engines on the F/A-18’s!

fa18hornet

 

Swiss Air Force officially operates 08:00-12:00 and 13:30-17:30 … Geneva airport opens at 06:00.